I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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