please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
