I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize