I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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