Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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