I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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