Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Randomize
