I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
