community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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