You're completely useless in the revolution.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He passed out mid-signature
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
God, I missed his penis.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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