it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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