i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
