very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
