i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
