I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
