i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
