Your face is a jimmy john
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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