I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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