Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
