I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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