WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
