I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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