I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize