You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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