Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
