Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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