I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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