Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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