Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
