I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
