i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
