all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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