i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
