Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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