the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
