captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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