you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
