Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
