Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
