I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
