batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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