I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
