dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
