also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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