Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize