This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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