drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
