I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
