so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
