You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
