Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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