Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
