So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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