Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
