I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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